Tag Archives: DESTINY

Make Mine Broken!

Broken_Vessel_We don’t all view BROKEN the same way, do we?

I think it might be difficult for some of us to connect to those we consider BROKEN if we have experienced “breaking” in only minor or irritating ways.

For instance, if you are pitching a fit because you just broke another nail? Trust me. You and I are on opposite sides of the Looking Glass.

When I say “broken” I see smoking rubble and bombed out buildings in my soul. Yet, even I don’t “see” smoking rubble the same way a woman fleeing Syria or Iraq would, right?

Does that help?

We, meaning we in The Church, can often trivialize people’s pain by our own casual approach to what we do not understand. My “brokenness” may be very different from what you have experienced. You can think you are “aware” when perhaps you are actually clueless. I have often heard well-meant heartfelt messages from those who I believe really did mean well, but there was a kind of authenticity or depth that was missing, simply due to a shallower understanding or experience of the subject.

Unfortunately, what people who haven’t survived gross abuse don’t know can add new wounds to the souls who have.

If you haven’t been through deep and dark water or been on intimate terms with Evil, the deeply wounded and broken will know it, because a crushed heart covered in the scars of an intimate acquaintance with Evil is not something you can head-fake.

I also believe there is a kind of inborn intolerance, an unknowing or condescending heart will reveal. Not to intentionally be unkind perhaps, but simply because of profound ignorance.

I don’t say this to be mean, but I believe it is necessary to know, Hearts that have bled from deep wounds have an internal radar that will register any FEAR or SHAME tactics immediately. You may not mean it to sound that way… (Or you might, depending on your motives?) either way, I just want you to understand where I’m coming from when I ask,

“When have you looked into the eyes of your Abuser and seen the pure pleasure that they derive from inflicting new pain? New horror? New terror? New shame? When have you heard pure hatred screaming at you; seen its face contorted in ugly rage inches from your face? When have you seen them smile as they slice and shred your soul again, intentionally carving new wounds?”

There is Real-Evil in this world and some of us have looked helplessly many times into its cold dead eyes. That is a “knowledge” you can’t fake or forget. And, that experience changes HOW you view BROKEN—and how you respond.

Yes, Christ and the sheer power of His love and grace poured out on His cross, can overcome Evil’s power to make one cringe in terror or run and hide. And yes, forgiveness poured from old wounds will lift the broken and crushed heart, and bring it back to resurrected Life. Absolutely!

But, that miracle of love and forgiveness in itself is no guarantee that Evil will surrender its hold on the Abuser, or that the Abuser will magically choose to change their ways.

The Abuser is also free to choose and many choose to continue their abusive ways. (Perhaps due to their own self-loathing?) I don’t know. I have never understood my Abusers. What I do know is that I have been on the receiving end of my Abuser’s resistant intolerance for love and their entitlement to their own cruelty.

I have loved my Abusers, believing that my love would change them; cause them to make changes in their behavior. It did not. Love for Christ and our devotion to Him does not mean we will be able to reconcile ourselves to those who steadfastly refuse to surrender their hatred and destructive behaviors.

Yes, we must forgive them for their past abuse. Yes, we must pray for our enemies and those who willfully choose to continue to abuse our love and trust. But I do not believe we have to be reconciled to continue in a close relationship or in proximity with those who embrace Evil and refuse to surrender their deep desire to destroy us.

I also believe there are sincere Hearts that have not bled at the hands of that kind of Evil, who don’t understand this. They haven’t seen this for themselves—felt it or heard it—and so they just don’t KNOW.

I used to succumb to critics who would loudly proclaim “broken” as “incapable.”

All those in The Church who are so intolerant, unable, or unknowing, because I thought they were right.

I figured that they knew their stuff!

When those dear souls would criticize my tears; my fragility; my brokenness, I would listen to them.

Believe them.

When they would criticize the broken saying, “You can’t speak, or teach, or reach, unless you toughen up, put on your wax lips, and smile… your gratitude will fix it all.” I would inwardly wince! As if doing all those things hadn’t ever been tried by the abused who also love God and their abusers!

(Oh, please!)

I think those who advocate such simplistic answers have no clue the damage their naivete inflicts.

The abused and broken don’t want band-aids. They don’t work! And I don’t believe the broken want another slick-song-n-dance-schtick of:

“I got it ALL TOGETHER and ain’t it great BEING ME?”

How many times have I heard a speaker “speak to me” just like that, and I would think, “That will NEVER be me.” because I felt too, broken; too much of a mess, and saw no way out of my terror-ridden situation!

Not today. Now I believe hurting people just want real with all its awkward and messy flaws.

In ancient days if a guy was making and selling pottery, and it came out of the fire with cracks, they would rub a little wax into those cracks so they wouldn’t show.

(I mean, who deliberately buys a defective pot, right?)

I guess people got wise to the practice, though. (People eventually do.) So among the potters, the term “sincere” was born, meaning: Without wax.

Without wax, yeah. I’ll take my books and sermons and songs without all the shiny wax, please. Just give me real.

Remember what Jesus compared the “religious professionals” of His day too? Vipers. White-washed tombs full of dead men’s bones! When He confronted “the money-changers” in His temple, He made a whip and drove them out! It doesn’t sound like nine bars of “smile, smile, smile” does it? No wonder they hated Him. He chose to hang with the nobodies. Sinners. Prostitutes. Tax collectors and smelly fishermen—He sought them out! The Broken. The failures. The outcasts. (Yeah.) The Son of God said to all of us messy-misfits,

“Make Mine Broken!”

The professing-professionals I once knew used to “help me” feel real-unqualified. Told me, “I had to get my act together.” if I wanted to be the real-thing—before I opened my mouth.

What I believe they just didn’t get? Nine miles of bad road is supposed to change you. Rearrange you. Jesus uses UNDONE as a big part His transformation process.

The wilderness-furnace is meant to remove the wax and reveal the cracks—’cause we’ve all got ’em!

I hope anyone who reads my stuff can see ALL my flaws. (They’re there.) Every bump on that bad road I’ve been down has done its worst.

But, when you see my faults and failures, I hope you see one thing more…

I hope you see the glorious Light of Jesus shining through those broken places, because He is The One that makes all the difference, in my faults, and in yours; His Love shining through ALL our brokenness.

So let’s let His word to us, be our last Word:

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  1 Corinthians 1:271 Corinthians 1:27
English: World English Bible - WEB

27 but God chose the foolish things of the world that he might put to shame those who are wise. God chose the weak things of the world, that he might put to shame the things that are strong;

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Please remember when someone asks to hear your story:

  • Tell them your story—your way.
  • Keep it simple. Keep it real.
  • People are starving out there for real!
  • And that BIG noise? The one you hear from the sidelines selling “the best wax” that money can buy?
  • Pray for them.
  • Ask God to give them understanding hearts.
  • Then go out there and let His Light and amazing grace shine, baby.

YOU were born, for such a time as this!







































Coram Deo

truthI had always felt it.

This distance.

All of my life—I felt out of sync with what was around me. Family. School. Church. God.

Wherever I was, there was them, then there was me.


I don’t know why. Perhaps it is hidden in early events I cannot now recall. Anyway, forget the why. That isn’t what I want to talk to you about today.

It’s the Who.

It’s this separateness I always felt from God—as though He was way too BIG, way too GOOD, way too whatever, for the likes of someone like me.

I think most of us (who believe there is a God) know that following a God, “past finding out,” just ain’t easy!

(I think I gave up on doing that very early in my life.)

Thinking God was like, everyone else, living in universes I couldn’t reach or understand. I was wrong of course, but many years of my life would pass before I learned that God is not out there somewhere, disinterested, unfeeling, or uncaring.

He is an up close God.

A “get in your business” God.

A Father who takes His Fatherhood—mighty serious.

Like the day I decided to end my life.

That was “the day” I met up with My Father-God.

My “Abba-God” up close, and real, real, personal.

And no, I don’t know why He did this, except to say that I now believe my separateness from Him; my belief that He didn’t care what I did, or what happened to me; had become unbearable for us both.

I suppose that is hard for you un-believers to believe.

(Yeah, I get it.)

Still… I’m telling you right now, if you have hung-in with my story this far?

Oh, boy!

I think out there somewhere is waiting for YOU, your own encounter with, Coram Deo.

Wikipedia says,

Coram Deo is a Latin phrase translated “in the presence of God” from Christian theology which summarizes the idea of Christians living in the presence of, under the authority of, and to the honor and glory of God.

Sounds fancy doesn’t it?

It’s not. It’s actually terribly simple.

Bible teacher R. C. Sproul explains it like this:

To live in the presence of God is to understand that whatever we are doing and wherever we are doing it, we are acting under the gaze of God. God is omnipresent. There is no place so remote that we can escape His penetrating gaze.

To be aware of the presence of God is also to be acutely aware of His sovereignty. The uniform experience of the saints is to recognize that if God is God, then He is indeed sovereign. When Saul was confronted by the refulgent glory of the risen Christ on the road to Damascus, his immediate question was, “Who is it, Lord?” He wasn’t sure who was speaking to him, but he knew that whomever it was, was certainly sovereign over him.

Sounds all up-in-your-face starchy doesn’t it? But what it actually means is God is everywhere, all the time, watching, knowing, and ready for an encounter with you.

Probably when you least expect it. (Like me.) Like Paul on that Damascus road.

He will get all up in your stuff.

Love does that—especially Perfect Love. And trust me, you won’t have any smart alec answers to Perfect-Love if He shows up some day, barging into your confirmed unbelieving. He will quite simply, blow the doors off everything you thought you knew, or believed about this God you trivialize, casually curse, or just hold in a sincerly doubting disinterest, or contempt.

I wish I could adequately describe what this day will be like for you.

(When He shows up I mean.)

I can’t. Sorry. The closest I can come is to describe it is this:

His Presence will have a jaw-dropping, power, and purity to it.

That is His holiness.

You really can’t imagine how awe-creating it is.

I guarantee you, you can’t kiss the floor fast enough!

You’ll want to come close in wonder, and run away and hide, all at the same time.

jesusandthelambHe will feel like liquid warmth, pushing out every bit of the cold, dead, darkness, surrounding you (which you weren’t even aware of) until His Love showed up, and began to drive it out!

You will instantly realize: The Dark has zero power over Him!  He is Supremely powerful. Always The One in control—of everything.

This Presence? Sweeps you off your feet emotionally, while arresting you forever, in its realness. The memory of your experience won’t ever turn you loose.

You won’t ever be the same.

Can’t be the same.

His coming into your space?

Changes everything. He really shakes you up! So, fair warning…

I believe His intention, is to do this more and more as our days grow darker and darker, and His returning comes closer and closer.

We’re all on a deadline. Him most of all—since only The Father knows the day and the hour His Presence will depart this world, and everyone will be handed over to the evil one.

(Check the book. It’s in there.)

He’s all about building His Church and finishing what He began on that Roman cross.

Which means that if He is pursuing you?

(And Coram Deo says that He’s everywhere, all the time?)

It means that He’s right where you are—right now. Relentlessly pursuing.

That’s Him. Wooing… you. For Himself. HereNow.

Get ready.

You’re next.



For more on Coram Deo I recommend R. C. Sproul’s, In The Presence of God, available on Amazon, or http://www.ligonier.org/blog/what-does-coram-deo-mean/

Destiny And The Dream-Maker’s Gift


Here she comes, once again—from the corner of my mind.

Soooo many years ago… yet, I close these eyes and find;

See her? Offering herself? From a day—now long gone by;

Twirling, leaping, spinning, dancing… spreading wings as if to fly!


The music now has captured her—she feels it in her feet.

She dances out its rhythms as she reaches up to meet…

The One who has created her… The One, who gave this gift,

He smiles, as He anoints, these tiny Spirit Wings she lifts.


Praise perfected! Heaven’s blessing! On the offering of—The Gift!


So much power in the song, as it’s calling her away!

Come and find me!

Come and find me…

Bring your heart… come out and play!

So she follows her Creator—feet are full of joy and bliss,

From her toes, she now knows, she was born—just for this!


In tiny heart a place created—only she and God may go;

To this temple, consecrated, joyous rivers now will flow,

Angel choirs up in Heaven, celebrate her, and her gift;

Heaven’s citizens join the chorus, praise-on-praise, to Him now lift,


Adding blessing, on this wee one, and the offering of—her Gift!


Delays Are Not Denials


Like withering grass, days slowly pass;

I wonder why You haven’t come.

My dreams still wait—the hour is late;

When will my great deliverance be?


And bending low, You whisper, “So…

You think this dream you’re longing for,

Is way behind, and you can’t find,

The pathway out of great dilemma?”


Ah, child of Mine, for gold refined…

Is it not true Refiner waits…

To see in gold—His image bold,

One of His Son—Sweet Lamb of God?


These long delays, met with dismay,

Will yield a treasure—more shining glory;

And when you tell, (you know it well)

Of desert days? What awesome story!


Then waiting days, with irksome delays,

Will sing of praise and greater glory;

And many shall see, your trusting in Me,

As Golden Light shines from your life!

And you shall know, from days you sowed,

This Harvest Dream—come true, “At last!”



The Parable: The Confused Caterpillar


Time to wait.




How long? Dream-Maker! Are You listening? How long must I wait?

What am I waiting for? Who? Will I know? When the time comes—will I know? I’m confused.

Dream-Maker? Dreeeam-Maaaaker… SuperBanner_Creation_2016-08-10_083302


CATERPILLAR:  huge-eyes-clipart-huge-eyes-clipart-halloween-eyeball-clipart-clipart-panda-free-clipart-images-900-x-427-mud4ly2oy6ixbz0jkhnlf3pul4hb1rvgset7uv4kng

It’s so dark in here… so dark.

This place is too tight!

Dream-Maker? Dream-Maker?

Are You still there?

I’ve been here sooooo long. Too long. Wings! Wings? What was I thinking? A worm with wings? Dream-Maker? Dream-Maker… I call and call… why don’t You come?

This cell’s so dark…

And way too tight!

There is no space!

There is no light!


… these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!

 Habakkuk 2: 2-3Habakkuk 2: 2-3
English: World English Bible - WEB

2 Yahweh answered me, “Write the vision, and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. 3 For the vision is yet for the appointed time, and it hurries toward the end, and won’t prove false. Though it takes time, wait for it; because it will surely come. It won’t delay.

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Hab 3 17