It was forty years ago, but I can still remember that inner-hollow-weariness I felt when I arrived at the place I call, “Soul-Empty.”
That was the day I decided–I was going to end my life.
I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted.
I saw nothing but an endless wilderness of pain-filled days ahead of me.
I could not see myself going on.
I wanted my pain to end.
I managed to drag myself to work, but as I did, it with this one thought paramount in my heart,
“I am DONE–I am not going to live like this anymore.”
In his book (by the same name,) Michael Card makes this statement.
The LORD, The God of The Hebrews, sent me to say, “Let My people go that they may worship Me in the wilderness.” [Exodus 7: 16] It is one of those tiny phrases most of us unfortunately read right over. But, as is so often the case in Scripture, it is the small detail that unlocks the immense truth of what the passage is saying… The goal of deliverance is always worship.
True worship begins in the wilderness. Praise is almost always the answer to a plea that arises in the desert.
Have you come to THAT place?
By “place” I mean, “Does your soul look and feel like a barren wilderness where everything has died–even your hope?”
Card explains–we all must ask–and answer for ourselves the paramount wilderness question, “What is God worth?”
“In the wilderness the children of Israel discovered that above all others, He (God) was worthy. He was the Father they wanted. He was the Provider they needed. He was the Mighty One without whose protection they would have disappeared in the desert sands as had so many other lost people before them. As they discovered His worth in the stresses and strains that only the wilderness provides, The Father hoped His chosen children would have ascribed to Him worth-ship.
The wilderness is still the place of worship. But for you and me it is not a matter of dunes and dry ground; in fact, it may be deceptively green. Our hunger and thirst are more spiritual realities than physical ones. The desolation we often experience involves our yearning for a more palpable feeling of the Presence of God. We need spiritual bread every bit as much as they needed the manna in the wilderness. Our deep need for living water is just as intense as any thirst their parched throats ever knew.”
Have you arrived at: soul empty?
If your answer is, “Yes.”
Then, I believe you have come to the threshold of one of the greatest breakthroughs of your life.
If, your answer is yes, then you have arrived at the place where your spiritual eyes (and your heart) can be opened.
I recall coming to that place.
I knew, I had tried everything I could think of to fix my own brokenness.
And, I had failed miserably. Because, nothing I had tried had worked, and my pain seemed to grow with every new sunrise I faced!
A bottom line called: The Tearful Trail
I’m telling you, “Suicide is NOT the only choice!”
But… I completely understand if you feel like it is.
As I’ve said before, “I’ve been there.”
Yet, even in your wilderness, I know, there is another choice; a Sonrise with HOPE!
In, A Sacred Sorrow, Michael Card implores,
“The bottom Line: We are all born into a world we were not really made to inhabit. We were created for God, made to flourish in the comfort of the Presence of our Father within the warm context of His undeniable hesed*. Now, in this fallen world, we are cut off from them both. Only the loving sovereignty of all-wise God could redeem such a hopeless situation. His solution? To use suffering to save us. To redeem our own suffering and most significantly to redeem all mankind, through His own suffering on the cross to pay the price for our sin. In order to turn around and move once more in the direction of God, we must find this path He has carved out. We must call out to Him in the language He has provided. We must regain the tearful trail. We must relearn lament.”
The world-changing power of: LAMENT
Because I believe you have an unfulfilled destiny and sovereign purpose?
I hope you’ll come with me, as we take a look in the following weeks at four men from the Bible: Job, David, Jeremiah, and even Jesus.
Let’s explore Michael Card’s “paradigms of lament” as we look at their lives and their stories.
Card makes it very clear,
“This is not a book about some new way to get what we want from God. Rather, it is a biblical exploration of the spiritual lives of four broken men who gave up all they ever wanted to discover what it was that God wanted most to give.”
HOPE is not lost. It’s here for the asking. He stands at the door of your heart knocking…
Only you, can let Him in.