Have you ever made a commitment, and then suddenly, you are overwhelmed by second thoughts, and a severe case of cold feet?
When I came to my senses and realized that my life just couldn’t work without God, I made this contract with God.
I would give God 100% of my life… my whole heart.
Then, about thirty days later, I got this major case of cold feet.
I contemplated the enormity of my commitment.
I reviewed the debris field of my past.
And I suddenly realized, “I can NOT do this!”
Being back in church felt super-strange!
Ever have one of those moments?
One of those, “What was I thinking?” moments?
I couldn’t imagine how was I ever going to “fit in” with all these Bible people?
How was I going to make this rediscovered Christian thing work?
Remember, I was a kid who had raised herself, and therefore thought that any success in my life depended on me–alone.
Overwhelmed by GRACE.
Living eighteen years in a broken and severely dysfunctional family produced a lot of baggage.
Walking “a worldly and prodigal road” for ten years produced even more.
I simply didn’t believe I would have enough of what I thought it would take to live out this “100% with-all-my-heart” Christian life. And you know, God knew that. He knew I would get cold feet. He knew I would doubt myself, doubt Him, and doubt others.
He knew–but that’s when the enormity of God’s grace kicked in.
Ready and waiting with Grace.
God knew exactly the moment I would want to bail out, and His Grace was ready and waiting.
It showed up in “the package” of a guy I couldn’t stand to be around!
His name was Doug. When he walked into the room I started planning my exit.
You see, Doug was “in charge” of the small-group my Church assigned me to, which meant, Doug believed he was in charge of me.
Doug was pushy.
As my small-group leader he was convinced he had all the “right answers” I needed. (I didn’t like him.) And, I hated being in his “group.”
So, I told him I was quitting.
Of course, he had other ideas… but I had made up my mind.
So he started calling me at home!
I yelled at him.
Doug kept calling.
I said, “I’m done–finished!”
Still he called!
Finally I said, “I refuse to talk to you anymore.”
(I’ll never forget his answer.)
He said, “Okay, but you can’t stop me from praying.”
(I didn’t know then how dangerous a prayer-warrior’s prayers could be.)
Guff Gets Grace!
Poor Doug, I sure gave him a lot of guff–but Doug delivered God’s grace.
Grace will give you what you don’t deserve.
It will hold on, hold out, and never give up.
God’s grace will chase you down, come after your WHOLE heart, with power-prayers that will love you back into the fold.
Fair warning to all prodigals:
God’s “everlasting love,” could be delivered with strange wrappings you may not like, but if it’s Him?
It will also be saturated by His Grace.
(And you know what else?)
Though your heart may want to hold out, and your fears may try to overwhelm? God’s unhindered-Grace will always win in the end.
(Truly, that’s why they call it amazing!)