Tag Archives: waiting

A Closer Walk: I’ve Always Been A Dreamer

little dreamerI guess I’ve always been a dreamer.

As a little girl I dreamed of being a ballerina, a cowboy, the captain on a submarine… (Yes, I was a tomboy.)

But as I grew older my dreams changed.

I began to realize as I matured that a dream was something more intangible; something that would feed my soul and give wings to my spirit. I realized that a God-given-dream was more about a becoming; fufilling destined purpose; and less about having great achievements.

A question and a truth began to dawn, whispering that I was created to fulfill a niche—one custom-made for me alone.

I wish I could say the answer to this “niche question” found me right away, but actually, rather than a grand “Ah-Ha!” moment, for me it was a very slow sort of awakening. One that took many years—although I did have one small momentary breakthrough—when I was thirteen.

I had been given a creative writing assignment.

young writer

My English teacher was using one of those canned courses where you are told exactly what to write and how. Much too tame and restrictive for me, I decided I would CREATE a story of my own; one that I made up.

(I thought I was being so independent and brave!)

The next day, expecting a good scolding, imagine my astonishment when my teacher announced to the class that she had one story she wanted to read out loud.

english teacher

She lifted my paper and my words poured out in life-affirming music.

When she was finished reading she simply said, “I think this student will someday be a writer.”

A Writer.

She thought I should be a Writer?

The idea had never entered my mind, but it was too late now, the dream-seed had been planted, and then it was buried for many dark and difficult years.

dreamer's doorIt wasn’t until my fifth decade that the lost and long forgotten little dream-seed began to push back the darkness and reach for The Light.

Again, it happened quite unexpectedly during another very ordinary day.

I was in the middle of a ten-year-wilderness-march, caring full-time for my mother. Our relationship had always been difficult; strained since my early childhood. Nevertheless, I was the one elected by uninamous family-ballot to be her full-time caregiver, a “job” I had promised myself I would never, ever, do.

When God first told me I was to leave the city I loved, all my friends I loved, and the job I loved, and return to the place I had said I would never return to?

I shouted at the Lord.

Yep, total transparency, remember?

I shouted that such a move would be, “… like being buried alive!” And, it was.

Such is the circuitous route of a God-given-dream and the unfathomable ways of The Dream-Maker, until one day like someone in a fairytale, my awakening came.

It literally began in the form of a wake-up call.

Our phone rang, and I heard my aunt’s voice, sobbing. She was re-reading some of my old letters that she had tucked away in her bible.

She was recounting to me what I had written to her—but I wasn’t listening.

finding lost dream

Instead, in one of those very surreal-kind-of-deja-vu-moments, I held my breath as that thirteen-year-old girl and her dream awoke.

Rubbing Rip-Van-Winkle-sleep from her eyes, she sat up, stretching arms to the sky. Eyes wide and blinking, she turned to look at me, and smiled…

And I in turn, looked up into the vast blue sky—into the face of a God—that I knew was smiling too.

journal

IT TAKES TIME

I know how difficult it is waiting for Me.

I know, too, how it tries the soul and twists the heart.

(I know.)

You think I AM uncaring; unconcerned to let you wait so long.

(You think I don’t know everything that goes on in that mind of yours?)

But ask yourself,

“Do you want visions and dreams picked too soon like unripe fruit?”

Would I be a loving and responsible parent if I gave you responsibilities you are not yet prepared for? You are focused on the one final product ~ the promise possessed; the vision a reality. I on the other hand, am focused on you. You are My primary concern and always will be. It is your becoming that holds My rapt attention… yes, what you are in the process of becoming.

I wish I could tell you that you could get what you want by a wave of the hand, or a twitch of the nose, but those are fairy stories. The dreams and visions I have for you are very real. Encourage yourself with this Truth: “One day…”

I tell you, the day is coming when all I have whispered into your spirit will come to pass. I AM not called: Promiser. I AM called: DELIVERER!

You are never out of My care, whether you are waiting from the backside of the desert, or a prison cell; whether you are one hundred years old like Abraham, or a small child like Samuel.

Your times are in My hands.

All is well.

It takes TIME to make a dream come true, but come they do

One day.

a closer walkOne day as Moses was tending the flock… suddenly the Angel of Jehovah appeared to him as a flame of fire in a bush.”

Exodus 3:1-2Exodus 3:1-2
English: World English Bible - WEB

3 1 Now Moses was keeping the flock of Jethro, his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the back of the wilderness, and came to God’s mountain, to Horeb. 2 The angel of Yahweh appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.

WP-Bible plugin