Tag Archives: power

A Closer Walk: Closet Control Freak

closet control freakI always believed, “I am NOT a closet control freak—I am a person of order.” A place for everything and everything in its place. That’s my motto. Chaos of mind or situation is NOT my thing. I have been accused many times of being a control freak, and to some of that I plead guilty, but guilty with good reason.

(She said smiling.)

I grew up in chaos, so I learned early in life, that if I was going to have any sense of peace or order I would have to create it myself.

my messy life

I have tried to come to some sort of truce with myself about all of this; to “give myself a break” because a child does the best they can with what life hands them, and sometimes—the coping mechanisims that were our friends in childhood—become our enemies in adulthood.

Ah, but giving them up… there’s the rub!

There isn’t anything inherently wrong with an orderly life. There’s actually a scripture that calls for us to live that way.

Again, the difficulty is that many times chaos in life is not the exception, it is the norm. Life, especially in our day and times, is full of unexpected catastrophes of endless variety. Control is only a cherished illusion. Much as I hate it, it is a truth that must be faced with honesty—but also with faith and hope.

Yeah, life goes crazy on us, but though we must acknowledge that we are not in control of anything, we can still place our faith and hope in a God who is in control of everything.

faith NOT fear(Selah?)

So, if God is in total control, then why did He allow my disaster to happen you might ask?

And to that, I give you one key word: AGENDA.

We have an agenda for our lives, but God has His, and when our agenda collides with His, well guess who wins every, single, time?

God is in control

I like what John Koessler said about agendas,

Jesus is an equal opportunity disappointer. Jesus was a disappointment, not only for people like those of Nazareth, where they drove Him out of the synagogue and tried to throw Him off a cliff, because He wouldn’t perform miracles for them, but for people in Korazin and Bethsaida, where He did perform miracles. Jesus was a disappointment to friends and foes alike… we are disappointed with Jesus because we do not see what He is really doing. It turns out that we have been laboring under a major misapprehension. Jesus came for us, but that does not mean He came to please us. Jesus came for us, but He does not answer to us. Jesus came for us, but He will not subject Himself to our agenda, no matter how good that agenda might be. Instead, Jesus demands that we submit ourselves to His agenda.   (Why Jesus Always Disappoints)

When I talk to others (like myself) who are struggling with disillusionment and disappointment with God, there is this reoccurring issue; this matter of control—God’s agenda vs. ours.

Oh, we don’t come right out and say that we think we know better than an Omniscient God. But scratch the surface of our best Christian facade, and you will find a closet control freak, fighting to get out.

journal

IT’S NOT MAN’S WAY

I know how much you hate it ~ being weak.

You want to conquer this thing you’re struggling with.

You want to be in control again, yes?

God in control

No… but “No.” with an explanation.

Listen My dear child, if strength were the best thing for you right now, would I not give it? You know I always do the best thing for your growth and perfection. (But, My definition of perfection, not yours.)

You want to be perfect—I want to: perfect.

(It’s not what you wanted Me to say.)

I know.

But you know Love does the best thing, not necessarily the easiest thing.

God in our ruins

(Yes, you’re right.)

It would be easy to give you this thing you’ve requested.

But, do you want the dream your way?

Do you know what the cost would be, to yourself, to others?

Do you want this dream to be less than it could be?

These are questions only you can answer. To be perfected from suffering you must yield to it ~ not clench your fists and stiffen your neck. You decide if you want everything you have asked Me for.

God's mission: partnership

I’ll wait right here, as I have been, since this tug-of-war started between us.

You must decide, whether you are to be powerful, or I AM to be powerful in you.

This is the way My Kingdom works.

It’s not man’s way, it’s Mine, Decide.”

a closer walk

 

“…No. But I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

 

My Grasp

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 Your days are appointed by Me—I have numbered them.

Therefore, your life is in My hands.

Who can prevent Me?

All I tell you shall come to pass.

You are held firmly by Me and My love surrounds you.

Look to My promises when doubts arise.

Peace little one.

I AM the One who never leaves you.

I give and I take away.

Look to My word—My hand is there guiding you.

All is well.

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The Lord hath made bare his holy arm in the eyes of all the nations; and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God. Isaiah 52:10 KJV

 

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My Grace

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Always bring your wings under My Grace.

My wings are Omnipotent.

There is no difficulty you face that I will not have an answer for.

Think of your little wings this way:

One is peace, the other is prayer.

You bring Me your prayers—I give you My peace. And, praise arises from the two. Whenever your peace disappears, come to Me in prayer. We will work it out together.

I AM your refuge—Your safe haven.

When you don’t know what to do, come to Me.

Quiet the storm on the inside first. As you do, you will ask and I will give you all the wisdom and favor you need to deal with your outer storm.

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For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 KJV

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A CLOSER WALK: Weakness As My Strength

It has taken me a long time to learn what great power there is in weakness. For most of my life I was like the world I grew up in. I was not a fan of weakness or vulnerability.

shy thinker type

Weakness and extreme shyness were not admired traits in my home. As I said before, I grew up in a house-full of boisterous and outgoing people of sanguine temperament.

For those of you who are not up on the lingo of temperament analysis, Sanguines are “the life of the party” types.

Those fun-loving non-serious and bold types.

I, on the other hand was the very serious contemplative type.

Yeah, born a misfit (I believed) as an out-of-place, “What’s WRONG with you?” solitude-loving, thinker-type.

life of the party type

Put me in a room full of strangers and watch me melt into the wallpaper, tongue-tied, and looking for the nearest exit!

Hardly “life-of-the-party” material!

So, naturally I longed, no maybe that’s not quite right—I LONGED to be more outgoing.

Why is it God often will “call us” to that VERY THING we are convinced we CANNOT do?

(I think there’s something a little mischievous about that!)

Yet, in my own ordeals with my personal weaknesses, that is the very place God wants to use me—right in the spot I feel most helpless.

Here’s what God had to teach me.

He does not want us “out there strutting our stuff” where we feel all capable, and ready to take on the world.

In my own case it’s in those areas where I feel strongest that He will pull back hardest on the reins.

And, where I feel the weakest?

He cheers for me with gusto and abandon!

Actually our so called “strengths” are our weaknesses, and visa-versa our weaknesses, are our greatest strengths from a Kingdom point of view.

The Apostle Paul knew all about this upside down way things work. In 2 Corinthians 12 he tells us, “Three different times I begged God…” He had a weakness he desperately wanted to be rid of. God’s response to his prayers? “Each time He said, ‘No. But I am with you; that is all you need. My power shows up best in weak people.” [vs. 8, 9 TLB]

From God’s point of view our weakness is the place where He can shine. I don’t like it. (You probably don’t like it either.) But that’s the deal. Where I am weak? God’s power is perfected in me.

Where your hands shake, your voice quakes, and your knees wobble?

Yep, that’s the spot, where you will cling to Him for all you’re worth!

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YOU ARE READY

All eyes will be upon you now.
(Don’t be frightened.)
You are ready.
Your whole life has been in preparation for the door you are about to enter. Keep your eyes… (Oh, those beautiful eyes!) Keep them on Me. You know I have called you. Your suffering has made your calling sure. If you ever doubt it, you have only to look in the mirror. It is there, staring back at you. Your greatest weakness will become your greatest strength!
The world hates brokenness. It hates weakness. This you know quite well. But, now you see, when brokenness and weakness link up with Me, and My Spirit, power is the result!
My power. (Mightier than split atoms!) is perfected in weakness. This you have been learning. This you now know!
There will be many who will say I have not called you. (Forget them.) Look in the mirror. Remember, mighty are you in My Kingdom child. Angels will be at your beck and call. I AM in you. You are in Me. Vine and branch; potence and Omnipotence!
I will be at your side. I have have gone ahead of you, into your future to secure it, and I have your back. You are My child. No one can take you from My hand! Be strong. Be of a good courage. You can change the world.
You are going to change the world.
You are My beloved child.
Nothing, and no one, can ever change that!

“I the Lord have called you to demonstrate my righteousness.” Isaiah 42:6