Why would God ask me to do something so crazy?
I wanted to cry or wave my arms and scream at the unfairness of it all, but…
It still amazes me how God will sometimes ask us to do the most extraordinary things at the most incredible times!
I thought, “Sing? You’ve GOT to be kidding!”
That was perhaps the very LAST thing I felt like doing. I mean, who sits in the ruins, life in shambles, a fresh scar on their face, and then sings about it?
Talk about asking something crazy!
I still believe in the old adage:
Pain is inevitable. ~ Misery is optional.
So, I decided to try to sing.
Not an easy thing to do when you are hurting and choking on your own tears.
(No, not easy.)
I thought, “Perhaps this is what the scripture means when it says, “Give the sacrifice of praise.” a sacrifice always costs you something.
I really was trying to cooperate with God.
Again, not an easy thing to do when nothing in your life is the way you want it and I had to admit, I was still feeling plenty “ripped-off.”
There was a stubborn part of my heart that was looking at all the rubble and thinking, “Is this all there is, if you do your best, work hard, and try to do it God’s way? Is this what you get?”
I couldn’t stop thinking about all I had given up—the place I had loved, the people I had cherished, all the shining possibilities for a career in ministry, to come back to a place I hated—for this; these ruins!
I looked at the ornery, selfish, and downright dishonest people that I had laid everything down for, and this is the result of years of obedience and faithfulness?
That spirit of entitlement dies a slow and painful death.
I didn’t know who I was more angry with, God, or the people who I believed had let me down?
And worse yet, I didn’t know how to stop being angry, especially when I looked at the way things had turned out. And now I am supposed to, SING?
Still, with all this anger I wasn’t having fun-time, either.
A gray fog of futility had settled down on me.
Before all this happened I had always felt I knew what to do or where to go, I had a sense of direction and purpose, I had a handle on life—at least a small one. Now, I couldn’t seem to get my bearings. I didn’t want to sing, but I didn’t want to be angry either.
In truth, I didn’t know what I wanted.
I felt stuck and I hated that, too!
There’s nothing worse than being royally ticked-off and stuck inside your own skin with nowhere else to go.
God had asked me to trust Him and I thought I had.
Now I wasn’t so sure.
What if my decisions had all been wrong?
And, if you couldn’t trust God…
Who could you trust?
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?
Ah yes, My sweet Dreamer, you are saved by trusting.
So, you found out the people who raised you weren’t the perfect people you wanted them to be.
Well, what are you going to do now? Be angry? Be depressed? Stay confused?
Honey, listen. What have I been teaching you for these past few years? You know. People fail. People let you down. People hurt people. Even the people we thought, never would, never could hurt us!
Where do you think that dream of yours was born?
I’ll tell you, through the things you’ve suffered. Dreams and dreamers that will change the hearts of men, and heal them, are not born in nurseries of perfect people posing, posturing, and pretending to have pain-free spotless lives!
Ugh, it’s a lie spawned from Hell itself.
Do you know how many of My children feel or believe, they are disqualified from their dreams because of their failure, or the failures of others?
MILLIONS—millions of hearts, full of millions of hopes, hiding!
Because they are convinced that all is lost before they even try.
And, how can these dreams be saved? How can these dreamers be salvaged?
They are saved by trusting.
Did you know TRUST is contagious?
Did you know HOPE is infectious?
Your enemy knows.
I guess you’d better get busy.
“We are saved by trusting…”