Tag Archives: foolish

A Closer Walk: Fear & The Broken-Hearted-Vessel

Nothing can send hailstorms of ice cold fear rampaging across the landscape of my soul like being asked to speak in public!

(Yep, that’s my thing.)

Think of that thing you hate doing more than anything else. Now multiply it times ten and you have an approximate idea of how I feel about public speaking.

It’s my absolute worst thing.

If the choice is speaking in public or hot coals… bring on the coals!

I once signed up for a speech class in junior college thinking I would conquer this fear.

I lasted one day—one.

All I had to do was get up in front of the class and give my name and a little information about myself. (You’d have thought it was the Gettysburg Address the way I was shaking and quaking on the inside!)

When I was on staff with a large church, I wiggled and squirmed for months, trying to get out of the first time I had to do my own program presentation in front of the whole church.

A Single Dream I can still see myself, standing in that darkened doorway stage right, waiting to walk out into those bright floodlights. I was so terrified, every single “prepared” word evaporated from my brain. I remember sending up this panicky prayer that went something like, “God, please! If you don’t put some words in my mouth right now, this is going to get real ugly, real quick!”

To this day, I have no idea what I said. All I know is that later in one of the back rooms of the church, people kept coming up to me, thanking me profusely for all my wonderful encouragement. I stood there smiling politely, repeating over and over in my heart, “Thank you God. Oh, thank you God. It was only You.”

And so now you’re probably thinking, “And God called you to be a WRITER? Really?”

Yep, isn’t it hilarious?

(I think so too, since the idea of public speaking still turns my legs to spongy gelatin, and my mouth to dust.)

Why does God do this?

It’s completely crazy, but He always has, and still does.

Abraham, Moses, Jonah, Gideon, David… just to name a few. (All men after my own heart.) People with huge flaws and failures, but all God-called and God-commissioned. Men God used mightily in spite of their brokenness and weakness—if not because of it.

This is not the way the world does it.

Nope. No way. No how.

The world goes for the strong and outwardly shiny, while God chooses broken men—the storm-driven weak ones.

He seems to specialize, in frail human beings with a myriad of flaws and failings—just like us.

A Closer Walk

THE MOST!

Storms make muscle.

(It’s as simple as that.)

I want you strong! I want you confident!

How will you become strong and confident if you never go through storms?

You know Me by now, you know, nothing, nothing, touches you by chance. (Not My child!) But, because you are My child, I decide what is best for your training and development.

This part, the suffering, is for training; deepening your character. Before you can dress another’s wounds, you must feel the knife yourself. (You know this.) You cannot touch, you cannot heal broken hearts, with a heart that’s never been broken! Too, many of My children have tried, and failed.

I AM weary of these would-be-healers.

Away, with physicians of no use!

Come, let us be reasonable.

I AM building in you, compassion, understanding and caring.

(You know I AM.)

You also know by now, that these precious qualities are only purchased at great cost.

Why are they so rare?

(You know why.)

Because suffering, especially unjust suffering, is hard to bear.

Fear & Broken HeartedBut dearest, did I not tell you that the greater your suffering, the greater your reward?

Honey, it is the broken-hearted-vessel that holds the most!

These are not just clever words to soothe your pain.

This is the stuff—the place—where true healing begins.

a closer walk

 

“…for he will never fail you.”

1 Peter 4:191 Peter 4:19
English: World English Bible - WEB

19 Therefore let them also who suffer according to the will of God in doing good entrust their souls to him, as to a faithful Creator.

WP-Bible plugin

 

A CLOSER WALK: Ripples

ripples

Like ripples on a pond your life affects the people around you.

This was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn as I was growing up. There were times when I wanted to do what I wanted to do and I didn’t want to feel responsible to (or for) anyone else. I thought freedom meant no responsibility to anyone but myself.

I was young and foolish seeing only the child’s eye view.

It sounds good but it isn’t real. Like it or not, our choices affect others. Our decisions and behavior have consequences. I see people trying to ignore these facts, living as though their choices are their’s alone.

(But they never are.)

What we say and do, the type of person we choose to become, will impact those around us in a thousand different ways. Sometimes for the better; sometimes not.

One can choose one’s course, yes.

But we cannot always choose the consequences that will ride in on the coat tails of our decisions.

We have all heard the saying, “No man is an island.” but we try to be don’t we? We take our life into our own hands, choosing a course that runs roughshod over every other life around us. We claim our right to choose for ourselves, to live only for ourselves, in spite of all consequences to others.

I see it everywhere—self enthroned—Jesus Christ dethroned.

(Sadly, even in the Church.)

We make our own rules.

We decide our own course believing our life belongs only to us.

We deny Scripture trampling it under our feet, but at what cost to ourselves, and those who watch our lives?

Foolishly, we believe we must answer to no one but ourselves?

Never.

…RIPPLES

There have been times you didn’t like this very much, being in My hands.
Oh, you like it fine when I use My hand to give you what you want. But, when I close My hand. You really struggle with that one.
(Everybody does.)
Child, I would have you go far beyond this business of getting, or not getting, what you want. You are far more complex than that.
(And, so am I.)
When I say, “… your times are in My hands.” I don’t just refer to people, places, and things. The tangible is easy to fix your eyes upon, but look deeper. Your times are made up of much more than that!
What about, your gifts? Your calling? Your dreams? Your spirit-man? Your tragedies? Are not all these things in My hands as well? And if you could take them out of My hands? Which ones would you remove? You see through the glass darkly. You do not always see what I AM doing, or where I AM going.
Do you?
Your life, and the events of your life, are like ripples made upon the water. The initial splash may be very small, but if you are patient and step back and watch, you will see those ripples growing in wider and wider circles, encompassing more and more.
To take your life back. To say, “It is mine and affects only me.” is just foolish rubbish.
(And you know it.)
Everything… every… thing… you do, or say, will eventually impact someone else, someday, somewhere.
(Selah, that!)

“… my times are in your hands.” Psalms 31:15Psalms 31:15
English: World English Bible - WEB

15 My times are in your hand. Deliver me from the hand of my enemies, and from those who persecute me.

WP-Bible plugin

l-45202