Tag Archives: acceptance

Joy Is Where You’re Going Trust Will Get You There

“Shepherd,” asked Much-Afraid earnestly, “tell me why I nearly got into Pride’s clutches again, and why Resentment, Bitterness, and Self-Pity have been able to pester me for so long in this dreadful way. I did not call you before, because they never dared to come close to me or to make a real attack, but they have been lurking around all the time and making their horrible suggestions, and I couldn’t get away from them. Why was it?”

“I think,” said the Shepherd gently, “that lately the way seemed a little easier and the sun shone, and you came to a place where you could rest. You forgot for a while that you were my little handmaiden Acceptance-with-Joy and were beginning to tell yourself it really was time that I led you back to the mountains and up to the High Places.

When you wear the weed of impatience in your heart instead of the flower Acceptance-with-Joy, you will always find your enemies get an advantage over you.”

― Hannah Hurnard, Hinds’ Feet on High Places

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Joy Is Where You're Going“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

— C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity


 

acceptance with joy
THANKSGIVING
THaNGksˈɡiviNG/
noun
acceptance with joyHOPE
hōp/
noun
A person or thing that may help or save someone. Grounds for believing that something good may happen.
2 . ARCHAIC – a feeling of trust
 
verb

want something to happen or be the case.


acceptance with joy

 

JOY IS WHERE YOU’RE GOING.

TRUST WILL YOU GET THERE.

And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:3Psalm 40:3
English: World English Bible - WEB

3 He has put a new song in my mouth, even praise to our God. Many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in Yahweh.

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A Closer Walk: The Idolatry of Approval

I never thought of family as an idol.

I mean how could wanting your family’s love and approval be idolatry?

For many years I longed to be loved and accepted by my family—but loved and accepted for myself.

Unfortunately, it was that longing to be myself that created a great many of my family problems.

I was an introvert born into a family of extroverts so instinctively I felt it. I just didn’t fit with everyone else’s idea of how I should behave.

The others in my household were life-of-the-party types—outgoing people-lover’s who hated being alone.

But rather than loving the stage and it’s limelight, and being the center of everyone’s attention, I often craved solitude. I didn’t fear solitude. Actually, I was serenely at peace with my own company. I loved doing simple, quiet things, which was good, for I often found myself in our house alone.

This sent the message,”What’s WRONG with you? You don’t fit with us unless you are willing to become, like us.”

"Going Along" for approval

“Going Along” is often the price to avoid rejection.

I wanted to feel a part of the group, but the price for their acceptance was to increasingly become someone I was not.

While I blamed my family for their pushing and pulling, badgering and bullying, one day I finally realized, they were not my biggest problem I was!

I had traded who I wanted to be for their approval.

finding peaceEven in my adult years, many times I surrendered who God was calling me to be, for the “love and approval” I thought I could not live without.

It took me a long time to face the truth. Paying emotional extortion is not love, it’s slavery.

I began to see that I could vainly attempt to please my family for the rest of my days, and hope for a few grudging crumbs of approval and affection, or I could accept myself exactly the way God had created me to be, and obey His vision for my life.

I knew what “the price” would be.

I’ll confess, I did everything in my power for years to earn my family’s acceptance first… but in the end I think I always knew that their rejection, and the pain that went with it, would be the price for obeying God.

Inevitably, my choice was no choice at all, God would not relinquish His demand to be my FIRST love. (He made me no apologies for it.) And, I knew my choice would be all on me, no matter what I decided. So, I prayed for the courage to let go of my family’s approval.

It has been painful and difficult living with the price of isolation and no family to connect with, but Jesus has always been brutally honest.

With no apology at all He reminded me,

Anyone who wants to my follower must love me far more than he does his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, or sisters, yes, more than his own life, otherwise he cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26Luke 14:26
English: World English Bible - WEB

26 “If anyone comes to me, and doesn’t hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he can’t be my disciple.

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SURPRISED?

I see you there mourning for what is lost.

(You think, it’s over, all over.)

Child, Am I over?

Have I abandoned you?

(Sometimes, you feel I have.)

But feelings are not facts; no.

I AM here, right beside you.

(Remember?)

“Shammah,” honey, “Shammah.” I AM beside you in your tears, beside you in your confusion and pain. I don’t leave when things get tough. No, dearest.

Lift your eyes, your lovely tear-filled eyes, to Me. I have comfort for you; encouragement for your fear, and HOPE.

I would say, “Trust Me.” but I see your trust for the moment is buried beneath your grief.

(I know.)

But, Sweet Heart, I have heard your prayers! I know you thought My silence was disdain and disapproval, yes? But to listen, truly listen, you must be silent, yes? I have heard you, never fear.

Forgiving and moving onYour Father has not forsaken you though others have; forgive them. It is the only way.

Leave your family to Me.

Meanwhile, let Me lift that chin of yours because, “Yes, I AM the One who lifts your head.”

Your tears are ever before Me. See… I have kept them all!Comfort yourself child, your answers are on the way. Why, before you were done speaking? I was in motion!

Surprised? (You shouldn’t be.) I AM always listening.

(Love does that you know.)

a closer walk

 

“…Don’t cry any longer, for I have heard your prayers…” Jeremiah 31:16Jeremiah 31:16
English: World English Bible - WEB

16 Thus says Yahweh: Refrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work shall be rewarded, says Yahweh; and they shall come again from the land of the enemy.

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A CLOSER WALK: Be Yourself

yes-and-no-2

I have to admit one of my greatest struggles has been this business of being myself.
Affirmation was in short supply in the home I grew up in, and that created (at least in me) a very unhealthy dynamic. I learned early on that if I could discover what someone expected from me, and deliver on that expectation, I could easily recieve the acceptance and love I hungered for. The problem wasn’t in finding out what people wanted. I became very adept at that. No, my problem soon became deciding what to do, or how to react, when someone else’s expectations conflicted with my own expectations for myself and what I knew in my heart was the “right thing” for me. I’m sorry to admit this, but too often, my desire to please someone I deeply cared for, won out over my own sense of what may, or may not, have been right for me.
Pop psychologists call this “people-pleasing” as though it were some terrible dread disease. Personally, I don’t think it is wrong in all instances, when we are faced with a choice, to choose to please someone else rather than ourselves. People who consistantly choose to please no one BUT themselves, soon earn the title of selfish, and rightly so since self comes first in each of their choices.
Finding the balance. There’s been the challenge! Knowing when to say, “When!”
Learning to do this has been a real uphill battle for me, but I should add, a very necessary one. The bible is quick to admonish us to think of others before ourselves. To serve rather than be served. Jesus Himself modeled this for His followers. Laying aside His Rabbi’s robes, He picked up a towel, and bending down, He washed His disciples feet. He took the place of the lowest servant in the house. He was wanting to give all of us a “word picture” that we would need to remember. One of willing servanthood.
Let’s face it, it’s a lot easier to be the guy getting your feet washed, than being the guy with the basin and towel. We all like it when people seek to please us rather than expecting us to please them. So when is it right to please others? And, when is it right to please ourselves, because let’s face it, sometimes our foot-washing and people-pleasing, can get way out of balance in our relationships.
When is it time, and I might add healthy to say, “when”?
This can require some real, deep down, soul-searching.
There are times in our relationships (I believe) when it is entirely necessary and appropriate to stand up, and be true to yourself, and say, “Not this time.” To be yourself should be a freedom that is granted in every loving and healthy relationship.
Sometimes our no is more loving than our yes. When we our not free to say no?
Perhaps we’ve unconciously exchanged our servanthood for a doormat.

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BE YOURSELF

We’re not going to do this the way it’s always been done.
I want you to listen to Me. We are partners, you and I. You will not have to break down doors. You will not have to be clever, or glib, or false. We haven’t come all this way to get bogged down in that nonsense.
I want you to be yourself.
Yourself.
You are the only you I’ve made. People, even well meaning people, will try to convince you that “being you” won’t work.
Forget them. Hold your ground. (In peace.) Listen to their ideas, but bring everything to Me. We will decide together how to proceed.
(This is a true partnership.)
Remember always sow good seed, in good ground. Give to others and give generously. Credit. Wisdom. Love. (Above all love.) I will multiply it in My own time and My own way.
Do not say “Yes.” to eveything. Sort through the good, get down to the best, then choose the excellent! (I’ll help.) There is only one you. Remember you are finite in strength. Use what you have wisely. I will always provide what you need, so don’t be afraid to give much away.
Have I not promised to give you much so that you may give much away?
Always be generous, then you shall always have what you need.
Strive to keep your life simple. (I have given you clear direction on this matter.) You know what to do. Just do it.
I bless you child. Now go, and bless others.
“I will guard and support you…” Isaiah 42:6Isaiah 42:6
English: World English Bible - WEB

6 I, Yahweh, have called you in righteousness, and will hold your hand, and will keep you, and give you for a covenant of the people, for a light of the Gentiles;

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