A Closer Walk: Where Do You Take Your Anger and Hurt?

What do you do when the One you trusted to always take care of you, always be there for you, let’s you down? Where do you take your anger and your hurt?

where do you go?

You realize you’re adrift, because the One you really need to talk to about everything, is the very One you are convinced has betrayed you.

Talk about frustrating.

Now what do you do?

Where do you go?

To whom do you speak?

That was my dilemma.

I had “believed” with all my heart that I had developed this face-to-face, heart-to-heart relationship with God. I had believed His word promised that He would always protect me. He was “my hiding place” where I could run and tuck myself under His wings… close… right next to A Heart that I just knew, would never let me down.

At least that’s what all the songs and bible verses had said—had promised.

Only, I was let down.

Monumentally so.

And I hurt.

I hurt

Like Job, my life was shattered in a million impossible pieces and I was wrestling with how to reconcile my understanding of all those beautiful bible promises with my confusing and darkening realities. This ugly stuff wasn’t supposed to happen to someone who had trusted and obeyed! Was it? And, as if my hurt and confusion wasn’t bad enough, add to it, all my so called friends and family had stepped way back, only watching my chaotic life from a nice cool distance.

Daily, their stony silence speaking volumes to my bleeding soul.

Ah yes, Job’s friends.

The “One” who could have prevented all of this—didn’t.

Now what was I supposed to do? To, believe? What kind of a GOD was this? And, why had He deserted me?

What had I done but trust Him utterly?

I had no answers, only lots of confused questions, hurt, and anger.

For three long months, each day I awoke to another day of turmoil. Sitting in stunned angry silence. (I smile now, remembering.) Because even though I didn’t want to talk to God, God was having none of it!

And so He began to gently whisper… and I listened.

I was desperate.

journal

I AM WITH YOU

Talk to Me.

I AM here: with you.

I know the others left you ~ let you down. My friends sometimes let Me down, too. They tried. They just couldn’t be there for Me. You know. Your friends have let you down, too.

(I know.)

You will have to make the same choice I did. You will have to forgive them their weaknesses and frailty. Come, if I did it, you can too.

I’ll help you.

You must learn the difference between the finite and the infinite ~ between potence, impotence, and omnipotence.

broken vessel

POTENCE: a vessel for force and power. That’s you! In all these difficulties and trials I AM creating in you a ‘force and power’ for My Kingdom. What you are going through, is preparing you, for what you are believing Me for. I will help you through.

Now, IMPOTENCE.

(We have talked of this.)

I want you to understand and learn, once-and-for-all, where power comes from:

“Vain is the arm of flesh.”

Your friends only have influence. I give you power.

Which brings Me to OMNIPOTENCE: unlimited power!

(That’s me of course.)

Dearest, can you see now? For Kingdom work influence will not carry you through. You need Me. I AM your supply of unlimited power!

Apart from Me you can do nothing.

That’s not idle chatter ~ that’s your LIFE!

a closer walk

 

“But God is my helper. He is a friend of mine.”

Psalm 54:4

 

4 thoughts on “A Closer Walk: Where Do You Take Your Anger and Hurt?”

  1. I’ve been in that dark place. That place of desertion, of desperately seeking hope and understanding. It’s an awful place, one I never want to return to. But a place that gave me a measuring stick, and a miracle. Because before being in that place, I didn’t really understand the greatness of I AM. Before, love, forgiveness, grace, they were illusions in a mirror. Now they are realities that dance at the tips of my fingers. That place, that hell, only a Heavenly Father, who loves more than we can imagine, would allow His child to go there so that only He could bring her back.

    1. Alice, what a beautiful and insightful comment. I agree with everything you said wholeheartedly. I think we do tend to put God into a “comfortable” box but I remember a very wise man once saying, “The Lion of Judah is a WILD lion. Try to box Him in and He will break out every time!” I also think we must sometimes walk through the Valley of Tears so that we may fulfill the Apostle Paul’s words that, “…we are to comfort others with the comfort that we have received.” I hope these posts will do exactly that. Thanks so much for sharing!

  2. I have been in that place a number of times. I find, like David, when I cry out to God in anger my heart changes. When I begin to remember all that he has done I go from complaining to thanksgiving. Great post. I will share it on my Facebook page and Pinterest. Glad I visited you from the linkup.

    1. Hi Maree, Gosh I am so sorry to hear that. To be in a place where you have lost everything dear is not an easy place to go. I marvel at your faith that can “thank God” in the midst of complete devastation, especially over and over again! I am not there yet. Perhaps one day. My desire with these posts is to come alongside those who are wrestling where I once did and encourage them to not give up but to hold on to their hope when it seems all hope is gone. I thank you for sharing with us.

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