Tiny Sparrow

19647612331_491a916e2d_b

A sparrow on mountain top far, far, away

Turned its eyes to heaven and began to say

Can you really see me God? Hear me when I pray?

Will you reeeally come  –  watch over me today?

~~~

When God’s angels heard, “This foolish bird!”

They gasped… and looked at God.

Would wrath replace His loving smile?

(They all began to nod.)

Surely impertinence like this

Would be met with lightening rod!

~~~

But God reached down and gathered up,

His frightened little bird…

And turned to speak, to angel host,

“Your judgements are absurd!”

Then He placed the little fellow,

Where he wouldn’t miss a word…

~~~

My dearest little sparrow,

I AM the God who hears,

All your questions, all your doubts,

And your every fear;

I AM the One, who gathers and saves,

Each tiny little tear!

~~~

When all gets dark, and you lose heart…

When hopes begin to quail,

When heaven seems like brass to you,

And songs turn into wails…

Remember, I AM watching…

And My grace will never fail!

~~~

Don’t fear what you can’t understand…

What trials and hardships there demand;

For each and every day on Earth,

I hold you… in My mighty hands!

Just trust, that everything’s designed…

According to My perfect plan!

~~~

In all of My creation, whether near or very far,

My eyes behold your greatest need,

… don’t wish upon a star!

But turn your eyes to Heaven,

For I’m watching where you are.

~~~

And if you need Me… I’ll be there!

I’ll take good care of you!

Before you call… I’ll answer;

Open up the skies of blue!

You’re My precious… tiny… sparrow,

What’s that? Ahhh, yes, I love you, too!

SuperBanner_Creation_2016-06-22_075139

A Good Lament

HFNNk2G

I remember long ago this songwriter God.

(You know the one.)

He asked the question:

Where are the lamentations for modern day?

1296b9c2e1407fa08c2e032f59ff1ca1

He implied ( I thought) that lamentations were GOOD… necessary, now as then.

Well… is that true?

images95BTI622

Lamentation: makes the hard and cruel – disgusted.

giphy-facebook_s

(Is that good?)

Lamentation: makes the shallow, impatient.

impatient-viewngr

(Is that good?)

Lamentation: makes the pompous reject.

(Is that good?)

SnobbyGuy1

These strutting-saints in purple robes, all chorus, “No!” in unison.

They think sad words a total waste.

9e9572f92bda86a1639c05d59915825f

But songwriter has me thinking twice.

Perhaps this oxymoron just might work.

For is it not true…

a3cd702554748ee9f696318ace4627d0

That Lamentation gives voice to the crushed in spirit.

3ee638e1809d16998619f1d7d592f8d2

(Isn’t that good?)

Lamentation dignifies – not disqualifies.

73840647c51585018884a9a2b54a3c82

(Isn’t that good?)

Lamentation lifts the fallen and binds the wound.

1ba6cd7b2a3084817a984a61517d47e3

(Isn’t that good?)

Lamentation, in dirges sweet, bows to God and sovereign plan.

20f1615a1994741b965f010913c5e4d2

(Isn’t that good?)

So, too, I sing – will not be silent, for songs must sing to captive hearts.

Perhaps this lamentation sweet will open imprisoned hearts and minds.

07d70314cf576fdf9d5c2e97d242d9c3

(Yes God, that would be GOOD.)

The DREAM-MAKER’S Promise:

“Thus says the LORD of hosts: Consider and call for the mourning women, that they may come; And send for the skillful wailing women, that they may come.” Jeremiah 9:17Jeremiah 9:17
English: World English Bible - WEB

17 Thus says Yahweh of Armies, Consider you, and call for the mourning women, that they may come; and send for the skillful women, that they may come:

WP-Bible plugin
NKJV

The Caterpillar’s Prayer:

Father… these songs, they give voice to the deepest sorrows in my heart; things I feel so deeply, yet cannot find the words for my prayers.

Let these songs become the words; be my prayers; my heart-cries to You!

Will You bend down, in Your sweet love and mercy, and listen… hear my anguish that reaches out to You alone, for help and healing for all in need.

Our world is in such a mess Abba; such distress! Most just turn and look away.

(Sometimes, I accuse You of looking away, too…)

But, You never do!

Father, help me, to never look away again.

No More Cute Words

I’ve run out God—of cute words.

1-too_many_words_by_payana-dev

I hate them now.

frustrated-woman-using-her-laptop-250-thumb-250x250

What have I become God?

I confess to You I no longer know.

190005ypb4gxhz4rvkb52t

I stare at this apparition in my mirror and wonder, “Who are you?”

(Have I become what most I feared?)

sexually-frustrated-men

In our first days, remember God?

When first love burned with brightest flames?

(Look at her now!)

This, what should I call her, bad dream come true?

cw 2

She lived on easy lines and such cute words, way back when, in yonder days. Remember God?

sad_chinese_woman_200_150_55

This child could be bought with such cute words and jazzy jokes!

No wonder she crashed and fell into pits dug with cold contempt!

cw 1

What easy pickins—her child’s heart!

All gone now.

Crushed in the dust of panzer troops and bitter lies.

“Pour out my heart…” Your word does bid. Well here it is. This ugly mess. This sad disgrace.

No more cute words.

Now what, God?

Now what?

unhappy%20asian%20man%20with%20tie

Cute word can’t touch my poor cold heart.

She’s not for sale—not anymore!

She can’t be bought, cajoled, or conned.

Ziyi-Zhang-Crouching-Tiger-Hidden-Dragon-887x600

A sad estate for what is left.

I’ve only word from heaven left. Not cute for sure! But, pure—but true!

(Oh, God!)

frustrated-man_article_full

How I long for true along this blind and crooked road I’m on.

The DREAM-MAKER’S Promise:

“I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, and crooked places straight. These things I will do for them, and not forsake them.”  Isaiah 42:16Isaiah 42:16
English: World English Bible - WEB

16 I will bring the blind by a way that they don’t know; in paths that they don’t know will I lead them; I will make darkness light before them, and crooked places straight. These things will I do, and I will not forsake them.

WP-Bible plugin
NKJV

The Caterpillar’s Prayer:

So many lies God. (For so long!) How could they? How can people say they love you… and then lie, and lie, and lie? Was I so worthless to them? So disposable? I trusted them so completely… believed their every stupid lie!

Oh, Father, You are the only true thing left in my life. You and Your truth my compass now. (How I cling to Your promises now.) These words of Yours are all my hope… (and stay)… just like the old song says.

Your word and faithfulness; Your love banishes the power of every lie… drives out my fear. Your love, so simple… so true. Wrap me up Abba…

Oh, God… hold me tight!

Weary Wondering

images

Show me LORD.

Show me.

images5XBYAMUM

Have I missed it? Have I understood the wrong thing all this time? Am I standing in the wrong line?

man-praying-dark

I’m wondering at it all—and You?
(Silence.)

woman-praying-at-church1

Am I waiting on You?

Woman Among Lit Votive Candles
Or… are You waiting on me?

old_woma

I don’t remember where or when this silence started but, where will it end?

It’s Spring. Resurrection is in the air. Flowers and trees and birds are nice—but what I think I need is a resurrection in us.

93f23d1a6c1d0127e8e367c9d0e8595c

My hope is buried. (Of that I have no doubt.) What I’m wondering…
Is there something left under all that mess?
Is there yet a crocus for all this sand?

eb69484ba72c7fc925c1482434098a33
Dead dreams indeed! This tomb, my heart. Perhaps I have turned to stone and yet, I keep my sentry post.

Why?

Why guard this heap of cold gray rock?

10444_Josef_Cerhak

This road I thought I could endure?
Too long, too weary, I’ve become!
And all I’ve left—this tiny spark.

smouldering wick

This smoldering wick stands on Your promise in weary wondering…

(Can a stone yet speak?)

755a0dbccef2dee5830646ee56dba9be

The DREAM~MAKER’S Promise:

“O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You. In a dry and thirsty land. Where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1Psalm 63:1
English: World English Bible - WEB

63 A Psalm by David, when he was in the desert of Judah. 1 God, you are my God. I will earnestly seek you. My soul thirsts for you, My flesh longs for you, In a dry and weary land, where there is no water.

WP-Bible plugin
NKJV

The Caterpillar’s Prayer:

Oh Father, I’m too tired to pray.

Besides, I no longer know what I should pray for. The length of this journey has made me sick at heart.

All I can think is “Help me LORD… please, help me!”

The Taste Of Tears

medium_the-pain-of-the-world-and-the-purposes-of-god
Tasting my own tears again. Thinking, “This is not how I would have done it.”

How often God takes us a way we would not have gone— points to a path we would not have chosen.

Dear Reader, have you often pondered the words:

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways.” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9Isaiah 55:8-9
English: World English Bible - WEB

8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says Yahweh. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

WP-Bible plugin
)

How often I have pondered God’s ways with the taste of tears in my mouth.

179550_5_1458553794

Perhaps there are Christians that can walk the path of captivity with great joy, but I confess to you, I am not one of them.

… My thoughts are not your thoughts…

Yes.

I remember the LORD whispering to my heart before I came here, “…there is no other way.”

woman-crying-285x300

I confess I did not truly comprehend the enormity of those three little words until now…

 

crying-woman

No other way.

Looking back… to who I once was, I now know:

⦁ There was no other way to bind the wounds of betrayal without being betrayed.
⦁ There was no other way to learn the words of comfort for the abandoned without being cast out.
⦁ And, how else could one sing the song of deliverance, had one not felt the chains?

arabwomanweeping

To become a wound dresser one must endure many woundings; one must taste their own tears, over… and over again.

cfe10287780f445c4c32336245e59ee5

To receive “a new heart” (Ezekiel 11:19Ezekiel 11:19
English: World English Bible - WEB

19 I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh;

WP-Bible plugin
) indeed… there is no other way.

The DREAM~MAKER’S Promise:

“Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; Save me, and I shall be saved,
For You are my praise.” Jeremiah 17:14Jeremiah 17:14
English: World English Bible - WEB

14 Heal me, O Yahweh, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for you are my praise.

WP-Bible plugin
NKJV

The Caterpillar’s Prayer:

Father help me to believe in the process of transformation, though it may be full of pain, it is also a miracle in the making. I don’t want my tears to blind me to the miraculous things You are creating, in me.

And not just for me, but for others, too.

Forgotten Prayers

Woman-praying

I flipped open my journal this morning intent upon pouring my heart out on another empty page, and there it was. An entry from months ago. Not so much an account of my daily life, but a prayer really. One I had forgotten.

I stopped and read.

It began with this heart-wrenching question: “Am I a wound dresser?”

o-ASIAN-AMERICAN-PRAYING-facebook

(There were more questions.)

“Is a wound dresser called from their birth?” Is this, “…proclaiming liberty to the captives?”

5dd8a8f8620255208b07354ae763433c

This old entry stopped me in my tracks.
When did I ask God these questions?

woman-praying 3
(Three months ago.)
I had forgotten these questions.

woman praying 4
I had also forgotten the prayer tucked in between.

“Oh, Abba, proclaim liberty to me! Let me, “no longer be termed Forsaken, nor my land Desolate.” Let me be, “called Hephzibah (my delight) and my land Beulah (married).” [Isaiah 62:4Isaiah 62:4
English: World English Bible - WEB

4 You shall no more be termed Forsaken; neither shall your land any more be termed Desolate: but you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for Yahweh delights in you, and your land shall be married.

WP-Bible plugin
]

young-woman-praying-outside-620

Isn’t that the cry of every captive heart?

“Turn my mourning into dancing God!”

146163057

I had forgotten these questions; forgotten praying this prayer.

How comforting it is to know, that though we may forget, God never does.

Then God asked me a question:

“Can a woman forget…?” [Isaiah 49:15Isaiah 49:15
English: World English Bible - WEB

15 Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yes, these may forget, yet I will not forget you.

WP-Bible plugin
]

article-2696508-1FC7E91100000578-973_964x615_edited

“Ummm, yes.” my heart whispered.

(I had forgotten.)

Then God said,

“… yes, they may forget, yet I will not forget thee.” [Isaiah 49:15Isaiah 49:15
English: World English Bible - WEB

15 Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yes, these may forget, yet I will not forget you.

WP-Bible plugin
]

prodding-of-my-heart

“Yes,” I thought. “Definitely comforting.”

Dear Captive, God will not forget you either, or your prayers. He says,

“Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” [Isaiah 49:16Isaiah 49:16
English: World English Bible - WEB

16 Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.

WP-Bible plugin
]

images4ZHHFFZN

Your “walls” may wall you in, making you a captive, but they cannot wall God out.

(And those prayers of yours?)

He hasn’t forgotten a single one.

What God has begun in you?

He will finish.

woman_praying

The DREAM~MAKER’S Promise:

“looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2Hebrews 12:2
English: World English Bible - WEB

2 looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

WP-Bible plugin
NKJV

The Caterpillar’s Prayer:

LORD, sometimes I become so consumed with my own distress over this captivity, my own failure, that I completely lose sight of You and Your promises. (Nevermind my own prayers… I forget so easily… that You are the answer to every need and heart cry! Help me to remember each day, through all of the delays, that You are always working for my good, and for the very best in my life, to bring Your plans to pass.

You don’t forget a single prayer! The answer is on the way. Thank you Abba for reminding me again, “… it won’t be overdue a single day.” Habakkuk 2:3Habakkuk 2:3
English: World English Bible - WEB

3 For the vision is yet for the appointed time, and it hurries toward the end, and won’t prove false. Though it takes time, wait for it; because it will surely come. It won’t delay.

WP-Bible plugin
TLB